Posted by
Matthew Avitabile on Sunday, December 21, 2008 8:49:42 PM
I was reading an article on World Threats about President-Elect Barack Obama impressing the intelligence community due to him being a 'quick study' and interested in topics at hand. This got me interested in how the reports come out.
From: Langley, VA
To: Quantico, VA
DECLASSIFIED
Intelligence Briefing-- December 21, 2008
President-Elect Obama
The first briefing of the day was about the situation in the Middle
East. After a two-hour lecture on the status of the Shi'ite-Sunni
fracture points, Mr. Obama clearly stated: "I heard of Iraq-- that's
where the Arabs live."
After this briefing was a slideshow on
the status of oil exports in the near future. The intelligence
presented was in clear opposition to the President-Elect's
five-year-plan to run cars on "hope."
Originally posted on Jumping in Pools.
Check it out!
The final presentation on
Iran's nuclear program was cut short as the President-Elect demanded
chicken noodle soup and for his grilled cheese sandwich to be cut
diagonally, not horizontally. "I, uh, want my soup to be, uh,
Campbells!" he was reported to have shrieked.
Next week Mr.
Obama will be administered a sixth-grade geography tests. Real progress
has been made, as now he identifies Russia by its name and not as "the
big purple place." In addition, he can now name three countries in
Europe.
While these incidences may seem poor for a
Senator-to-President, they lag compared to past events. For example,
when President Bush ordered strikes on "Islamstan." Another example is
when President Carter demanded that the United States not support the
Shah of Iran because he was "ugly."
At least five more years of
these briefings will be required before President Obama achieves
high-school level competency in basic geography and recent world
history. And, no, to answer his question, he doesn't get points for
being popular.